What the F*** is a Tea Lady?

She started as a quirk of the brand. A nod to those of us who do it all.
But people kept asking: what the f*** is a Tea Lady?
The answer’s a little layered – but I can tell you this for certain – she's not the one who makes the tea.

In my company, there’s a whole team of experts:
Manufacturing? Me.
Marketing? Me.
Customer service, finance, shipping, complaints desk, cleaner, part-time therapist? All me.

The Tea Lady was always there, of course. She wrote the stories. Invented the team. Let them flail and shine and take credit while she quietly ran the show from the wings.

Sometimes she made executive decisions without telling them – just to see their faces. Like that time she moved the whole studio by herself over a weekend. (Real event. Real tendonitis.)
She never asked for the credit. Just kept everything running – quietly, invisibly, inevitably.

And somewhere in that swirling chaos, she began to take shape – not just a joke, not even a role I chose – more like one I became.

Somewhere between the product copy and the sleepless nights, she stopped being Marketing Strategy #4 and became the part of me that noticed everything. Held everything. Said nothing.

Historically, tea ladies were invisible. Overlooked. And somehow everywhere. Present in meetings they weren’t invited to, catching snippets of gossip, decisions, fallouts. Unofficial intelligence operatives with biscuits. They saw it all – but rarely spoke of it.

That’s the real legacy. Not just presence, but restraint. They knew things. Held secrets. Understood when silence was more powerful than any outburst.

And when they did speak – when they chose to speak – you’d best believe it mattered.

In my studio, the Tea Lady is the observer. The narrator. The thread that stitches it all together. She’s not the loudest voice in the room, but she’s the one who knows how the room works.

She doesn’t need recognition. But if she ever spoke her full truth aloud – God help you.

The old team’s still here, technically. Manufacturing, Marketing, Finance, The Cleaning Lady, and R&D – they haven’t been fired, just… folded. They got me through the early days with humour, a bit of theatrical incompetence, and more than a few eye-rolls. They made the load lighter – and gave the customers someone to laugh with. But they were loud. Literal. Built for survival, not subtlety. And the studio changed. It became more diverse. More story-driven. And slowly, new voices started to show up – uninvited, but exactly on time.

These days, the Tea Lady isn’t running the day-to-day. Not really.
She’s still in the room – watching, remembering, occasionally intervening. But the team’s evolved. And she lets them handle it now:

Clarence: the rule-enforcer, the bureaucrat, the one who says no with such precision it should be framed.
Vera: all glitter and chaos and theatre, creating beauty in ways that sometimes cause fires (creative or literal).
Sol: the quiet constant. Officially the Tea Lady’s executive assistant – which could mean anything or everything. Not staff, not management. Just always there, tea already poured, with that unsettling sense they know how the story ends.

So, what is a Tea Lady?

She’s the quiet one holding the line.
She’s the memory of the business.
She’s the one who rescues tired bees off the pavement, and also the one who – if you push her – can dismantle your worldview with a single, polite sentence.

She’s older than the rebrand.
She doesn’t do balance.
She does truth. Quietly. Until it’s time to be heard.

Maybe you’ve got a Tea Lady too.
She’s the version of you who gets things done with no thanks, who sees everything but says nothing.
The voice you ignore until the kettle’s already boiling over.

You don’t have to become her.
But it might help to listen.

Still not sure? Stick around.
She probably isn’t either.

And no, she still doesn’t make the tea.