CLARENCE SAYS NO™
Clarence is the Keeper of Syntax and Salt.
He’s the studio’s editorial department, brand guardian, and mood regulator.
He doesn’t approve of glitter. He doesn’t approve of shortcuts.
And he especially doesn’t approve of anything that smells like mediocrity.
You’ll find his mark on a growing range of studio products—most often scent cards, wax melts, and definitions that walk a fine line between truth and warning label.
If Clarence signs off on something, you can expect:
- Clean language (even when it stings)
- Sharp edges (especially where you thought it would be soft)
- Zero pandering
- And a general refusal to explain himself twice
What qualifies for the Clarence seal?
Studio-crafted scent names with definition cards.
Products that meet his impossibly high standards.
Ideas that Vera definitely tried to sabotage first.
He doesn’t run the studio.
He just keeps it from getting sentimental.
If you see Clarence Says No on something,
you can assume it probably smells amazing, has a sting in the tail,
and is exactly the thing you didn’t know you needed.
This page was not approved. It exists due to a clerical error and Vera’s persistence. Management is not amused.
The Studio Compass
This isn’t just a website.
It’s the front door to somewhere sideways.
Not a shop—though we do sell things.
Not a gallery—though everything here was made to be looked at.
Not a sanctuary—though we won’t stop you from treating it like one.
This is the Studio.
Staffed by the suspicious, the brilliant, and the barely supervised.
Clarence says no.
Vera adds glitter.
Sol watches everything.
And the Tea Lady keeps the lights on—except when she doesn’t.
It doesn’t run on rules, though Clarence keeps trying.
Vera keeps undoing them with rhinestones and prototypes.
We make things with edge. With story. With intent.
None of it’s here to please everyone.
This place is for people like you—
the ones who don’t need everything explained,
who recognise a good no when they hear it,
and who know how to follow the scent of something more.
Stay as long as you like.
You don’t have to buy anything.
But you might leave with something you didn’t expect.
The Staff (Loosely Defined)
No. No explanation required.
Wearing glitter. Denying everything. Probably behind that scent you like.
Present. Watching. Knows what you’re about to say.
CEO, founder, chaos magnet. Leaves things better than she found them—unless she’s still working on them.
The Collections
Says no. Smells like conviction. Possibly forbidden.
Too much? Exactly. Hand-picked disasters with style.
Rare. Quiet. Always sold out for some reason.
For when it matters. Crafted to hold a moment still.
Three Scents That Should Come With a Warning
1. Dangerous, compelling, and absolutely the scent of the one you should have walked away from.
2. The cologne of a man who rewrote your BIOS and never returned your texts.
1. Effervescent on the surface. Deeply unwise underneath.
2. Smells like fruit you fed each other with your hands and a bottle that never made it back to the fridge.
1. Smooth voice. Salt on skin. Eyes that say, don’t test me.
2. Smells like florals with something stronger beneath—elegant, precise, and very nearly dangerous.
Frequently Avoided Questions
Can I wear your jewellery in the shower?
You can. You shouldn’t. Clarence says no.
Do your scents contain glitter?
Officially? No. Unofficially? Vera has her ways.
Are your staff available for hire?
No. Also, we’re not entirely sure they’re real.
Is this whole site a bit much?
Yes. Intentionally.